I know this won't mean much to you, but I identify this video with my overcoming latent feelings of paranoia.
I'd really like to know about the things that lead up to the paranoia and delusions...and how you overcame it. As for me, I never felt paranoid, and still don't except with you (or who I think is you). And it's only people associated with you directly. It's a horrible feeling, as you know. I have a ton of anger about it, and even feel exposed saying this much.I'm mad that I have to deal with this, as it's not something I'd wish upon anyone. I think it's quite ridiculous, and I feel like it was cultivated in me. You told me repeatedly not to trust you, and now you say 'all things in moderation'. I know it bothers you that I struggle with this because you know to a MUCH greater degree what it is and how it feels.
I'd really like to know about the things that lead up to the paranoia and delusions...and how you overcame it.With me, it came up on me VERY quickly, over the period of about a week. I had been commenting at a blog, when all of a sudden, I was being asked some very "curious" questions. Not knowing the "intentions" of these questioners forced me to "speculate" and THAT speculation lead to the paranoia.I had good reason to be paranoid.Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that there aren't any people who are out to get you. These people "got me" good. And when they hacked my work computer, my delusions went off the chart. I had left myself vulnerable, running a shareware web-server that was on-line at a 'static IP' 24/7.The questions that had seemed benign "before the hack" became MUCH more sinister "after the hack," and those who dealt the blow exploited their knowledge of the "before" and "after" conversations to their maximum advantage, leading me to believe that my life and those of family members were in grave and immediate danger. I can't tell you just how disturbing it was to have my world view completely turned over in the course of a few days, but suffice to say, it wasn't pleasant.So how did I "overcome" this? A month in a mental hospital. Several years worth of anti-depressants. And an "aversion" to technology, especially any system that I can't either rip the network connection out of, or is too old to be "wireless" compatible. My paranoia is now more of a mild "technophobia," but I'll admit that I'm still mildly paranoid as well. I don't do well with "uncanny coincidences".
Oh my...that is awful! Just malicious!I just don't understand why people do such awful things.
Politics is "war" w/o the violence. It took me a while to realize that. I had presumed that we were "all" Americans.Mr. ducky helped me get "back" to that proposition, but that doesn't mean that the "other" side always recognizes the fact (that we're in it TOGETHER). And when I encounter those who don't recognize that we ARE all Americans, I try and teach them what they're short-sightedness means. I give them a little of what they gave me... but w/o the need to medicate post-encounter.
I can make people extremely paranoid. I've learned the "art" of fabricating "mind-bullets".
...although it's obvious from our shared experience, there is sometimes some unintentional "collatoral damage", and for that, I regretfully apologize.
btw - Trusting and forgiving yourself is MUCH easier than trusting and forgiving others.As you can tell, I'm still working on THAT part.
I can't decide if it's fortunate or unfortunate that I can forgive you.I surely hope that you don't abuse it...but then, once it's given, it's not mine to do with.I need to be free of this anger.